Show some love...

Recently, there hass been an important issue raised about modern day society. Don't worry, i'm not going to be one of those people who moan that you can't say "blackboard" or "brainstorm" in case someone gets offended, the issue i'm concerned about is the matter of manly affection and bro-on-bro love. Just to be clear, that does not mean gay men "romping", it means the way that dudes show they care without looking or sounding like gay pricks.

There has been a large decline in recent years with only the high-five surviving through time, it isn't the only one still around though, the fist bump has just made a rapid comeback, and the ass pat isn't gone completely either but it seems the only place it is acceptable now without a homophobic revolt is the NFL.

Now what I want, at least to start off with, is to have all three methods stated above to be of equal status in society and to be prominent features in everybody's lives. In order to achieve this then I will need your help and in order for you to help, here are the main reasons/uses/situations (whichever is right) when/where they should be used.

The High-Five: Now i'm sure we all know what it's for, normally used in celebration of something that isn't a great deal or worth a cheer, a high-five and maybe a word to the effect of "nice" is all that's required. The other main high-five event is after the punch line of a decent joke.

The Fist Bump: While many people would picture two black guys who wear their pants round their ankles and feel compelled to keep hold of their crotch in case they lose them share a fist bump, detailed studies of ancient hieroglyphics have revealed that famous Pharoh Tuttycarsalesmoon fist bmped his highest priests. Fist bumps between bros of the modern age however are more commonly used as a greeting gesture, a quick bump as two or more bros meet shows that even though their mouths are saying "Hey!", their fists are making people aware there is a deeper bond between the bumpers. Fist bumping, like the high-five has a joke connection, but unlike the high-five which usually follows an obvious joke and the five may be shared between a group of people, the fist bump follows a bout of sarcasm or an inside joke and will only be exchanged by the joker and one other.

The Ass Pat: As I said before, the ass pat is now only used by NFL players as a motivational tool or an acknowledgement that a certain player did well during the last play and that he should keep it up. But there is a forgotten meaning of the pat. The pat can also be used by the general public and is more for an outside observer than bros themselves. The ass pat shows that both the patter and the patted are close enough bros to do this without being seen as homoerotic. Unlike the previously described, the ass pat has no specific time to be used, its occurence in day-to-day activity would be different for each bro and only the bro would know when an ass pat is appropriate.

Now that concludes my part, the rest is up to you to get all of what you just read into the halls of social acceptence.
I would also like to say to any black people, gay people or retards, stop pretending you're offended because if you really were then you would have stopped reading a while ago.

HAHA, caught you out didn't I?

Chris-x